No Fucking Way! Ryan Braun Admits Using Steroids

AP: A month after acknowledging only that he made “mistakes,” Ryan Braun admitted taking performance-enhancing drugs during his NL MVP season of 2011. The suspended Milwaukee slugger said he took a cream and a lozenge containing banned substances while rehabilitating an injury. “It was a huge mistake for which I am deeply ashamed and I compounded the situation by not admitting my mistakes immediately,” Braun said in a statement released by the Brewers.

I don’t believe this for a second! No way Ryan Braun did steroids. This is coming in hot out of fucking left field for me!! Seriously though remember when people cared about this shit? Steroids aren’t just ok now, they are the tits. The same thing Barry Bonds and Roger Clemons got absolutely crucified for a few years ago is going to get Ryan Braun an obligatory suspension and a few repentant commercial deals. If ever a sport had it all under control it’s the MLB helmed by Bud Selig. Just giving the fans exactly what they crave time and again. Selig For President!!

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